Sunday, November 4, 2007

Maid in India

Did you know that having a maid does not solve all of your housekeeping problems? Nine months ago I would have slapped anyone that would dare to utter such a ridiculous phrase in my presence, but alas, it is true. Having a maid does not make up for the fact that I am a terrible housekeeper!

I was raised in a clean house and when I was first married I managed to keep a cleanish house. With each new child my housekeeping abilities seemed to get worse and worse. Finally, with my last pregnancy (twins) I gave up the pretense all together. I just gave up. Now some would defend me by saying that my kids were to blame, but I think we all know this is not the case. Don't we all know someone with lots of kids whose house still looks nice almost all the time? I have a dear friend that I will call Sarah. I will call her that because that is her name. Sarah and I are at opposite ends of the housekeeping spectrum. On two separate occasions I was forced to call Sarah before 7 am. The first time she was outside weeding her back lawn. The second time she was mopping the kitchen floor. No joke. Before 7am on a school day! I refrained from telling dear, sweet Sarah that she didn't need to weed the back lawn because nobody would see it but her family. I had a harder time stopping myself from telling her it was pointless to mop her kitchen floor before breakfast because someone would spill milk on it, but I managed to hold my tongue. Sarah is the proof that my kids are not totally to blame.

They aren't totally innocent either. In the US, I could always tell when the school (or conscientious cartoon) had talked about recycling because my kids would screech in horror if I tried to throw away a milk jug. Didn't I know that the jug could be turned into a fun toy or an art project? Yes I did, but I really wanted to throw it away. I would try to explain that I was putting it in the recycle bin and that was just as good. No sale. They would not buy it. Even on normal days my kids had a hard time deciding what to keep and what to let go. To be fair, they came by this pack rat tendency honestly. They inherited it. I won't say who they inherited it from because my mother-in-law reads my blog and I wouldn't want to offend her (hint, hint).

I will say that nine months ago we arrived with suitcases full of clothes and very few possessions. Now we have every cupboard and drawer full of, well...crap! Where did all this stuff come from? And the closets are worse. Empty hangers on the rod while on the floor of the closet is a system of piles (understood only by the creator of the system) keeping clean and dirty clothes separate. As long as all drawers, cupboards and closets are closed, our house is picture perfect. I keep waiting for the day that I open a closet and am covered by an avalanche of stuff followed up by the inevitable bowling ball on the head.

As I was raised to continually set goals, then pretend to strive to reach them, I am going to set a goal for myself. Right here in public where lots of people will read about it and expect an accounting from me next week. This week I will do all the laundry (not just the bare essentials), and I will clean out every drawer, cupboard and closet in the house! Wish me luck, I am going in!

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

AHEM! WELL!!!!!

B.E.C.K. said...

Ah, you're attcking the laundry? Then you're a much better woman than I. There's been a laundry monster living in our laundry room for four years now, and it doesn't show any signs of leaving. ;^)

suburbancorrespondent said...

Don't crash and burn! You do know about Flylady, don't you? And I remember being amazed at how we could accumulate things so quickly after we moved. I think moving once every 2 years would be the only answer.

Erin said...

"Continually set goals and then pretend to strive to reach them." That was awesome! I am the queen of list making! I had a huge list on my whiteboard of things that needed to be done but I sewed instead. YOu see for me, as long as I don't need to do it, it's fun. The minute it goes on a list, I promptly ignore it! Good luck with your house. Maybe I will get some inspiration from you.

mimilee said...

hi aunt amy. my mom has always said that i remind her of you and if thats true its a huge compliment to me. you write so well and so funny that you should really consider writing a book. in my english classes LOTS of books i read are from everyday people writing about their everyday lives with a twist. and here i am a college student reading it as curriculum. you have a talent that can bless the world!!

Mrs. Smith said...

Mimi, thank you. You are so sweet. Unfortunately, I hate to inform you that you have made a classic mistake. By leaving me a comment you have given your aunt a link to your blog! Mua ha ha ha!

Rachel said...

This is what I have been doing too... I am a messy, too. AND... I only have two excus--oops I mean children. Good luck...do we get before or after photos?

Anonymous said...

Hey Amy! It's Aaron, your original classmate from Phoenix! I first wrote under this title but somehow could not get it to post but I figured it out under your title "Think Pink."

I hope everything is going well with you and the kids. I see you are staying busy updating the blog and being entertained by the foreignness (is that a word?) of your new home.

I will try to return every once and a while and drop you a line!

You all stay healthy, spiritually wealthy and wise!

God Bless...

Aaron V

shauna said...

Can I just say, I LOVE YOU! You are a woman after my own unorganized, messy heart. I just threw up my hands in frustration after cleaning for nearly 5 hours on Saturday to have the house looking like an obstacle course by Sunday night. And my mother was a great housekeeper, so I have no excuse. I don't know how to describe it, but I have to really concentrate to clean and organize. It doesn't come natural to me. (At least not like sitting on my bum and watching TV does...)

mother-in-law said...

Hi Amy, Were you referring to me in your blog this week. Do you really think I am a pack rat???
Boo Hoo, sniff, boo hoo. Just because I can't throw things away because I might need them some day is no reason........ :O)Just kidding.

Sue said...

Ha! I also loved this: "Continually set goals and then pretend to strive to reach them." Awesome.

Suzy Holloway said...

Oh Amy, my cousin-ish aunt whos really my sister. Thankyou for giving me a smile this night and a wonderful reminder that I am not alone! Suzy Q

Sharon said...

Apparently, "No matter where you go, there you are." I've fantasized about moving away from my mess and starting over like you did, but it sounds like clutter has caught up with you.

In the process of cleaning one room the others get messier. It's a clutter transplant.

Mrs. Smith said...

Sharon - As this is a company house, I believe the correct term would be "Clutter Re-Purposing" or perhaps "Clutter Reassignment" or maybe even "Lateral Movement of the Clutter".